September 12, 2009

I feel like the only thing I’ve done for the last two years is cry.  None of my choices are making me happy.  I am beginning to question my desires.  I don’t know the line between fear and things just being difficult.  Why do I just want to be alone?  In my desperation for normality I have sacrificed everything.  Why do I confuse security with happiniess?  Everything is making me depressed.  Health care, global warming, aging, Orange County.  Why am I so scared to just move away?  Why do I think it’s running away?  Why am I with someone who I share nothing with but pain? 

What have I done?